infertility, PCOS

NHS Funded IVF Rejection

nhs funded ivf rejection

I’m going to start by saying – I know how lucky I am to live in a country with free healthcare and the opportunity to have fertility treatments like IVF for free. However, that’s not to say the NHS is not without it’s rules and guidelines, and believe me are they strict.

Having being diagnosed with PCOS in 2014, the only positive I had been left with was the knowledge and reassurance that if I ever needed it I would be entitled to fertility help from the NHS. However, I was never told there were terms and conditions.

Late 2016 Mitch and I decided to start the gruelling process of trying for a baby, knowing it would take us an incredibly long time but that we should get the ball rolling. In January this year after realising I hadn’t had a natural period in 5 years, we agreed that I should go to the doctor to see what was going on with my body and to see if there was anything that could be done to help us. As we’d moved to a new area in November I had never met my GP before, so as she scrolled back through my previous test results I sat and filled her in on my medical history. She suddenly went silent and made some ‘hmmm’ noises while looking at her screen before eventually saying ‘I’m really sorry that no one seems to have ever told you this, but while your eggs are healthy you don’t ovulate which would pose a problem for conceiving naturally’ she then said that my best option would be IVF and that she was going to refer me to our local fertility clinic and that they would help us from there.

A few days later when I called the clinic to make my appointment the receptionist said that she’d noticed I hadn’t been asked the pre-screening questions and that we would need to run through those quickly . She also made a point of telling me that I should answer these questions honestly as I could face legal action, I thought that was a little odd and wondered what they could possibly ask me but I agreed anyway. The questions were basic and simple until … ‘Do you or your partner have any living children from this relationship or a previous one? I paused and shamefully considered lying before replying with ‘yes my partner has a son from  a previous relationship who we only see two saturdays a month’ she put me on hold for what felt like an eternity before coming back and saying ‘You are not entitled to have a baby via the NHS. Your case will be closed and I will be writing to your GP to confirm this’

I’d taken a break from work and gone to my car to make that phone call and I’m so glad I did because I just fell apart. I felt like my whole world had collapsed around me and I couldn’t breathe. The one shred of hope I had held on to for the last two years had been ripped away with no warning. I phoned Mitch in tears and he had no clue how to respond either, he just kept apologising and felt he was to blame – he isn’t. A few hours later I told my friend Louise everything. She was horrified yet amazingly supportive at the same time, and has even started fundraising for our treatment. Not just our treatment though, Louise has decided to start a charity – Miracle Families. Once she’s raised the money for us, she aims to keep raising money to fund one round of IVF for couples who have been refused IVF through the NHS and I will be helping her too (I’ll leave a link at the bottom for more information)

I’ve definitely struggled to cope over the last few months. Some days I’m great, other days I’m an absolute mess, and honestly I don’t think I’m ever really going to begin to get over it but I just keep going.

The thing I have really found here is how lonely it is. Even when you tell people what’s going on, they never know how to react and end up upsetting you and insulting you while thinking they’re helping. Making you wish you’d never opened your mouth, and ultimately making you feel more lonely and ashamed than you did in the first place.

Who knows, maybe one day someone will say something and my automatic reaction wont be to cry and hide from the world. Until that day though  I will remain an avid member of this amazing community, the only people who make me feel less alone.

For more information on Miracle Families and whether they could one day help you, please click HERE  and HERE

 

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4 thoughts on “NHS Funded IVF Rejection”

  1. I am so sorry to read this. I cannot believe how callously the news was delivered to you. Absolute lack of sensitivity. You poor thing.
    How lovely of your friend to set up this charity. It’s brilliant! The NHS have done nothing to help me – in fact they have repeatedly misdiagnosed and hindered my treatment. We managed to find a private clinic who use a company called Access Fertility. It might be worth you looking at them. Basically you can buy rounds of IVF upfront and if none of the rounds result in a baby you get the money back. Unfortunately I’m too far down the IVF road to be eligible for this package but we did use a different package where you buy a couple of rounds upfront, which worked out cheaper for us. This may help you.
    I am so sorry though. In Richmond, women are only eligible for IVF if they have had cancer. I listened to a phone in show about it and this woman desperate for a baby said “so I should just move to Richmond and hope I get cancer?”. I think that perfectly illustrates how messed up the whole system is. Sending hugs. X

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you ill definitely give them a look and see what they can offer. I am so sorry to hear that the NHS had messed you around so much, I’m just beginning to feel like they need a swift reality check as they seem to forget that we’re human beings too.
      I actually read a few weeks ago that the NHS are looking at changing their IVF criteria so that it’s only people who have had cancer or have HIV/AIDS and can’t safely have unprotected sex with their partner. The nation that created IVF is very quickly taking it away. I fully understand that woman’s thought process about IVF and cancer though, it’s a horrible thing to think but I must admit I found myself thinking it too.

      I must say I love reading about your journey, you’ve helped me feel less alone. I really hope that one day you get your dream ❤ xx

      Like

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